réponds à ma tendresse

i love french.

and i miss it.



i want more of it in my life. lots more.

don't move. they can't see us if we don't move

why am i here and not over, over, over there?


two turkeys down. one thankmas left.

fatkid, there you are.
nice to know you're still alive.

it's been awhile.
hi.

mamas and papas

i woke up from a nice/strange/heartwarming dream last night.
it's nice to have a little reminder.
a sigh of relief.

relief is the wrong word, there. but i'll leave it for now.

thanksgiving this week. family business everywhere.
on both sides.
gulp gulp. gobble gobble.


now i'm going to do a student film all day, back to back with work from 3-11. and, since my snow-filled-colorado-adventures, my scooter-days have been extended. the mountains put some hair on my chest, it seems.


not real hair. don't get grossed out.

i have a sinking feeling

that i feel like i'm sinking. . .

home sweet home?

welp. i'm here, anyway. hi.

i almost started crying on the way to the airport in denver this morning. because emily played this song on her phone.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjFaenf1T-Y


i just....


i love.
this song.
so much.


deep sigh.

Colorado Eve!

it's happening. it's really happening.

it's kind of hard to believe, really. the sisterhood has had a lot of great plans that have never quiet been....finished? started? spoken of again after a night of heavy drinking? something like that....

but this time.

this time, our Fuck Yes! attitude have finally paid off.


and, in 24 hours, i will be sitting on a plane. next to tiffany and katy. and we will be giggling. and there will be huge smiles on our faces. smiles that will stay there until monday. at which point, there will most likely be tears. granted, there will definitely be tears over the weekend, as well. but those tears will be hard to differentiate from the splashes of mountain-hot-tub water on our faces. or maybe the remnants of a high-altitude-snowball-fight. or, maybe, they'll just have been tears from laughing-so-hard-you-pee-a-little-which-makes-everyone-laugh-more. i mean, it's happened before. let's be honest.

my heart aches from my excitement....among other things.

gulp

sigh

tears of fury. . . that sounds like a song.

on my way home from the worst-day-ever yesterday, i told myself i wouldn't write anything whilst still fuming. so, here we are. a day later. a little pile of smoldering charred rubble. about to jump right back into the fire.

waking up at 5am yesterday, the day was full of promise! back to back audition/callback and a student film project. acting! look at all of it! and, surely i would have some run-ins with long lost friends, yes? of course! the day will be good! it must be!

met eleni down at the new equity building (fancy) at 6:30am, signed up on the already-posted list, and scored the #2 EMC spot. fast forward through all the grime [read: the most awkward two hours of my life. like, hi-let's-just-not-look-at-each-other-while-i-vomit-in-my-mouth-get-me-out-of-here-oh, hi jude, no-please-don't-point-out-the-fact-that-we're-not-sitting-next-to-each-other-barf-barf-barf] to 4:46pm when i was being told i wouldn't be seen. no EMC's had been seen. all of the new-EMC-appointment times for wednesday had been filled while i was out callbacking. but....i was at a callback. doesn't that count for something? i wasn't just out eating a sandwich someplace. it was work! gimme gimme! ....please? no thank you, they said. sorry bout it. how did the callback go?! i mean, hopefully great? since THIS is turning out so well....? right? ugh.

like, Ugh.

annnnnnnnnnnd after all that, here i go again. here i come, utah! if you refuse to see me again, i will burn you to the ground [read: cry on my scoot to work, sulk at work from 2-10, cry on my scoot home, and mope until tomorrow]

countdown

this promises to be one of the best weeks of my life. not that i'm setting the bar too high, or anything....

today: ladies lunch & work

tomorrow: auditions galore & the last of my columbia bullshit

wed/thur: gathering of supplies & work

friday: midway. aeroplane. mountains. colorado. sisterhood.

heaven on earth.

try, try again.

that's what they say, right?

right.


also, i like when i have acting things, and auditions for acting things. i do not like when all of those things are to happen on the same day. at the same time.
tuesday will be epic.

i feel squijgy

i just woke up from a dream that i got an email. it was an invitation to sit and have an $8 beer, and then a piano lesson. because the sender was in need of a lesson, and thought it would be fun to take one together.

i agree.
i could use a lesson.

but $8 for a beer. man. that better be a good beer.

i'm sure it would be.
i do love beer.


can i go back to bed? that's all i want to do. most days. just curl up and sleep for hours. maybe wake up, and eat a turkey sandwich. but then go back to bed again.
i want a piano. and a place to put it.

my want list is complete.
it's surprisingly short.
now it just needs to turn into a get list.
or a gotten list.
or a have list.

my scooting days are numbered...

riding home from work tonight was rough. i'm going to try to hold out on the red line for one more week. i just have to get through tomorrow, thursday and saturday night's midnight shifts.

and then. the red line. for the winter.

sigh.

i do love scooting. it will be missed.

and, my family has started Christmas-list-emails. for the first time in my life, i am not looking forward to the holidays. not in the least.